


Rest

by RioRiley



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Cancer, I'm Sorry, Sad, Sick Sam Winchester, Sickfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-15
Updated: 2021-02-15
Packaged: 2021-03-16 12:46:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 887
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29454012
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RioRiley/pseuds/RioRiley
Summary: Dean doesn't expect Sam to get quite as bad as he does. Truthfully he didn't expect Sam to be sick quite this long. He assumed that Sam would respond really well to the treatments and that soon enough they would be back on the road.But it's been a year now, and Sam isn't doing good.
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	Rest

Dean doesn't expect Sam to get quite as bad as he does. Truthfully he didn't expect Sam to be sick quite this long. He assumed that Sam would respond really well to the treatments and that soon enough they would be back on the road. 

But it's been a year now, and Sam isn't doing good. They've tried everything. Chemotherapy and radiation, surgery. Everything seemed to take a turn working before the cancer would inevitably continue to spread. In the past year Dean has seen things that were far scarier than any of the things he had seen in hell, purgatory or anything in between. 

He's seen Sam get pumped full of chemo.

That had been a nightmare. Sam's doctors had gotten him started on chemotherapy pretty soon after they had found the cancer in his stomach. Three times a week, Dean would help Sam into the impala, and drive him to the hospital. Then they would both walk to the chemotherapy bay, and Sam would sit there and wait, as the IV dripped, the liquid burning and making him nauseated. Dean can't count the times he saw Sam make the nauseated expression before he connected that when he made the face, Dean needed to grab a trashcan and get it on front of his brother or risk seeing Sam's embarrassed face. Then, three times a week Dean would drive Sam home. Sam would fall asleep against the passenger window, before Dean had reached the first stoplight of their voyage.

He watched his little brother's hair fall out.

That didn't take long. It was about two weeks, before Dean started noticing the stray hairs on Sam's pillowcase. Dean noticed them before Sam did. Sam took it well. He didn't cry or complain. He just shrugged, and reminded Dean it was all a part of the process of "kicking it in the ass."

He watched as his fingers went over his brothers scalp with the razor.

When Sam's hair started getting noticable, Sam tossed Dean a pair of clippers. It was an off day, when Sam didn't have to be at the hospital. Dean had been brushing his teeth in the bathroom and Sam came in, quieter than normal.

"Do you think you could take care of this for me?" Sam asked softly. Dean smiles, trying to fake a brave face for his little brother.

"Of course Sam." Dean said. 

He grabbed the clippers and turned them on. He grazed them against Sam's scalp, and they both watched as Sam's hair fell to the ground, almost like a sick effort at the hair bowing down to it's maker. 

He watched as Sam got smaller.

Dean had been trying his best to get his little brother to eat, but it seemed like everything he ate was thrown up within the same hour, and Sam wasn't getting enough nutrition for his body to have the strength to fight cancer, so his doctors decided his best chance was at a Gastrointestinal Tube, that would feed Sam, directly to his stomach and avoiding the vomit concept.

He watched as the nurse explained to him how to help Sam eat through a Gastrointestinal Tube. 

She showed him how to help Sam unclip it, how to dump the liquid nutrition into the bags and how to set them up on Sam's IV pole. Sam was at that point constantly hooked up to the pole.

But the scariest thing of all, the thing that really scared Dean more than anything in his life was the moment he knew Sam wasn't going to pull through. 

Sam had been going downhill. His weight was dropping regardless of all the tubes, and the cancer was spreading even though Sam had literally tried every option. And Dean, he knew that Sam was tired. He knew Sam had fought as long as he could and that their time was limited. So, Dean packed Sam into the impala with enough pillows to supply a small army. Then they drove. They went to the beach in Oregon, watched as the waves crashed against the big rocks along the seashore.

Then he watched, as Sam smiled.

"This is really it isn't it Sammy?" Dean asked him, as they sat in the impala in the parking lot looking over the ocean. Sam nodded, resting his head on Dean's shoulder.

"I know you've tried your hardest to beat this Sammy. And I'm proud of you." Dena says with a smile. Sam smiles too.

"I'm proud of you too Dean." Sam says.

"You don't have to keep fighting for me Sammy. I'll be okay. I promise." Dean says. Sam nods. "I don't want to do this life without you but I know you won't ever really be gone. I'll always have my kid brother. Ill tell everyone I meet all about you. My Stanford lawyer brother who turned into the best hunter on the planet." 

"You're the best Dean." Sam smiles tiredly. "You've beat everything."

"Yeah, but you've beat cancer." Dean smiles.

"Not really." Sam smiles softly.

"You have in my book." Dean smiles. Sam grabs his hand. 

"Thanks for everything Dean." Sam smiles. "I love you." 

"I love you too Sammy." Dean says sadly. He watches Sam close his eyes. "You can rest now."

He watched as Sam stopped breathing. 

He watched as Sam left.


End file.
